my feelings..

buri ku mang aminan keka tune kung daramdaman
ing midinang sikan lub, ala kung piyandaman
masakit keng puso ku na ali ku agyung agulisak
ing eku asabing kaluguran daka, tune kakung sasaksak

balang akakit daka, buri dakang kawlan
keng panimanman ku’y edanaka buring pakawalan
ing bawat segundu keka kumu buring ilaan
kasu ing daramdaman mu para kaku’y masakit aulan

ali ku balu nung kaluguran mu kurin
o kaya, kapatad mu ing kanaku mu turing
achu na ngan ata keka..kaya ku lubusang meakit
kasu mu alang kasiguraduan ing kekang papakit

ikamu ing mamye sigla’t saya kanaku
kareng pagkukulang dareng aliwa, ika ing mamaku
kaya eka magalala, oyni ing kakung pangaku
hangga na keng mate ku, ikamung luguran ku

by request.

waaa nakakabwisit!! err!!!! alam mo ng masasaktan ka pag nakita mo, pero titignan at titignan mo parin. potek! i got jealous jealous jealous!! waaaaaa. NAKAKAASAR!!! waa i can’t really get out of him! the heck!waa ayoko na! ayoko ng maging korni! ..aray ko ansakit sa kamay pag pinapalo ung table ng computer ko..waaaaa nakakabaliw!!!

It’s just an ordinary conversation but heart started to beat fast with these terms. 1. ah ahahaha.. pro may syota ang lintik na yun.. dame dian haha.. kaw kc lalake ka e=bleh. ..ano yun? kung babae ako, ako nalang? bat kasi lalaki turing mo sa’kin e. hmp tsk erase erase. imposible. binibilog mo na naman ang ulo ko hay..

2. “ita na kea?” this is a pampango which has different meanings. it can be “yun na kaya” or “tayo na kaya?” in tagalog. “that’s it” or “can we be?”. Sinend nya sakin. kaso, hindi ko alam kung ano yung ibig sabihin. chat lang kasi sa ym kaya di ko alam ang pronounciation hmp. hindi rin naman kasi parehong konektado yung ibig sabihin nung salita sa pinaguusapan namin. (pano na? lol)

——

i love you, you know?

i know you will surely have a reaction on it. “i will never love” yea, damn that’s too imposible to happen. but i guess, its better not to love than hurting so much.

i can’t really find the heart who can love me too. i always tend to be maltreated, get hurt, get used, abused and be nothing to someone else. dammit! i’m so tireddd..

i always give my all for him to love me as i do. but what i learned was, NEVER GIVE YOUR BEST.

I am suppose not to love a person who can only give FRIENDSHIP. just friendship..and not more than that. and mostly, he doesn’t deserve it. its not even worth it.

well honestly, IM A GREAT LIAR. i always pronunce MOVE ON. but i cant make it happen. I lie when i say IM MUCH STRONGER NOW, Im so weak to forget =c

reality makes me realize that i should stop this kind of drama. I finally closed my door and tell, I WILL NEVER FALL IN LOVE TO ANYBODY. Getting hurt all over means enough. i now declare, i closed my heart..

alam mo kya kung gano kita minahal noon?
ang bawat segundo ko’y syo lamang nakatuon
kaso ngaun pagmamahal ko sayo’y hindi na makita
pagkat dhil sa knya’y nakalimutan na kita

sya ang muling nagbigay sakin ng sigla
kyat nararamdaman ko sayo’y nawala ng bigla
di na namalayan,akin ka ng nakalimutan
nabalutan ng saya and dating kalungkutan

pagkatapos ngayon ay bigla kang nagbabalik
ang dating tamis ay nais mong maibalik
pero paano pa ngayong pagmamahal ko’y wala na..
sana’y noon mo pa naisipang bumalik..sana..

sya na ang mahal ko..dun na ‘ko nasanay
sya na ang mahal ko..at wala ka na sa hanay
kung sana noon ako’y napahalagahan..
pagmamahal ko sayo’y habambuhay aalagaan

why did you love me? so your girlfriend would have reason to get jealous and there you can easily end your relationship? I THINK SO! You showed love and affection so i will fall for you and, without knowing, be a part of your plan. Your planned succeded, but how about me now? you just left me without saying any ‘goodbye remarks’.

now im here..always in tears and i dont know how to fix this confused heart. i dont fall so easy but I TRUST YOU but YOU TRASHED ME! you just used me then left. wth!! you dont know how it hurts to see you happy while i am suffering with this br0ken heart made by you!

they all say i should forget about it..i try so but maybe i just want to be in a tricky situation because mygash! i am moving on since May,2008 but i cant help but not to forget him! There’s no more reason to love him but my feelings for him is just the same..i love him still.aw thats how idiot i am..dammit!!

i love you sasuke..i love you itachi..i love you kakashi at kung sn0 sn0 pa. ILOVEYOU.even you d0nt..

bakit wari kaburi mo ‘kung manasakit?
sabage, emu balu’t emu naman akakit
per0 gang manasakit naku, emu pa din pansin
o makananu, keng aliwa ka magpapansin

ing ali daka aisip, ita ing eku agyu
natural, lagi keng sasabyan ing kekang lagyu
kaya gang ditak edaka agyung kalingwan
at ana pin ning kanta, “you’re still the one”

kahit nokarin, edaka agyung tiisan
ing lugud ku keka, eya niluku ni minsan
iloveyou per0 bt hindi m0 alam?
o sigur0 nga’y ala kamu talagang pakialam

naman kase, bakit me pa-luguran?
kung balu mung ala nakaman kayang pilugaran
ala ka kaya at ali karin naman kaya masikan
kaya kung pwedi mu, sarili mu’y emune kaya pagsiksikan

i dont even believe this “im tired of loving him”. why be tired of loving? but when i based it to reality, that’s the time that i got what does it mean.

I met him last September 2007 and i prove that i love him dated 18/03/2008 and i should say now (December 02, ‘08) that i quit! i know that loving him for almost nine months was so short but i guess i should stop it. Im tired of hoping..I always pray for his love but nothing good happens so maybe he’s not meant for me..and yes, Im tired of loving him.

yea right..i dont believe to that cotation before but i came to think of these, “why should love a guy” who has its own business? “how could you say he has your heart” if he never care to hold you? [oh migash REHAB by rihanna playing =c] hmm.. how could you say “you cant stay away from him?” why dont you try so? surely, he would just let you go and lastly, “why dnt stop lving him?” if he just doesnt deserve it. and mostly, if he doesnt care for you!!

you think that hes numb cos he cant feel your presence..well i say that you are both numb!! you already knew that he doesnt care, but then you’re still hoping for nothing. just go away!! leave him..and there you could know if you’re important to him if he misses you
explore! dont even say that “hes the right man for you” idiot! you just say that because you are focusing to a fool man. so how could you notice the real right man for you? if he loves another, then leave!! [aww im getting sleepy]

stop trying to enter his heart. it would be hard for you. [kae ill continue this tomrow.if im still hopeless tomorrow.]

hindi siguro ako masasaktan kung hindi mo’ko pinaasa
wag akong sisihin kung bat sa pagmamahal mo’y ako’y nagnanasa
ikaw ang nagbigay ng maraming rason
kung bakit utak ko’y tuluyan ng nalason

kahit na ba palagi mo nalang akong iniinis
ikaw ang mdalas na nakakapagbigay sakin ng happiness
alam kong ang oras ko’y sayo lang naaaksaya
pero anong magagawa kung sayo ako masaya?

oo sige, ngayo’y wala ka ng rasong pinapakita
para ipagpatuloy ko pa ang mahalin kita
pero talaga na ngang ako sayo’y nabaliw
isang baliw na sayoy naaaliw

tuluyan akong nalaglag sayo ng matindi
pero bat hanggang ngayo’y ang hirap mong umintindi?
mahal kita at hindi ko na to kayang alisin
mahal kita at ang hiling ko lang ay wag mo naman akong pagselosin

Ako’y kaybigan lang na tinuturing mong diary
kaybigan lang ako at puso moy kelanma’y di ko ma-aari
kya’t di na aasa pa’t pagkat di yun maari
kaybigan lang talga ang posibleng mangyare

kaybigan lang ako na pinagsasabihan mo ng sikreto
’sang kaybigan na kung kani-kanino mo pa nirereto
ako’y kaybigan mo na lagi mong inaaway
pero sa problema heto ako’t dumaramay

hanggang doon na lang at wala nakong magagawa
kaybigan lang kita kahit sa panalangin ako’y magmakaawa
magkaybigan lang tayo mula simula hanggang wakas
kahit na puso ko’y na sayo na’t di na makatakas

ang pana kasi ni kupido’y hindi nailagan
kaya’t kaluguran daka higit pa sa kaybigan
alam kong pagmamahal ko’y dapat ng isuko
pero anong magagawa kung si bestriend ang may-ari ng puso ko.